


Doing the Charlie

by mific



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Drabble, Fanfiction, Humor, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-16
Updated: 2009-11-16
Packaged: 2017-10-03 01:15:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mific/pseuds/mific
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A drabble I did for azkatraz-at-home. The prompt was: 'Everyone has experimented with Charlie Weasley at least once'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Doing the Charlie

~~o0o~~

It's a rite of passage in Gryffindor these days, and a nice little earner for Fred and George.

After all, they do have an in with Charlie, being family, and with his messy, long hair, he never misses the strands they cull whenever he's visiting, on leave from flexing his bronzed, freckled muscles at the Norwegian Ridgebacks and Hungarian Horntails in the sanctuary.

Brewing the potion took some practice at first, but they've got a cauldron constantly on the go these days, simmering away in a disused bathroom. It's simple really, just add hair and stir.

Their clientele is varied, and it amuses Fred to see who opts for the Charlie role. Neville was a safe bet, but then he'd never have gotten laid otherwise, and Fred and George felt sorry for the kid so they gave him a discount. Once you're polyjuiced up as Charlie, getting your end away's a foregone conclusion, after all. And no-one's keen to graduate in an embarrassingly virginal state. School's for getting an education.

Harry keeps starting to approach them, flushed and indecisive, clenched angrily around his unspoken need, but he hasn't worked up the nerve yet. George and Fred watch his gyrations, amused, wondering who he wants to do the Charlie with. Fred thinks George's top pick is barmy, but George's bet is on Draco Malfoy. All that aggression, there has to be something else fuelling it. They've got a galleon on it.

Ron's pissed off with them, but that's Ron, he's always been oddly prudish. And it freaks him out, the risk of coming across yet another Charlie look-alike gasping and thrusting, pinning a panting student up against the wall in the Owlery or a dark corridor. The fact that it's as often a boy as a girl groaning in his brother's arms is the last straw.

And maybe Ron's influenced by Hermione who's scandalised at what she calls "this rampant exploitation" of Charlie's body. George can't see what the issue is. Charlie's abroad, oblivious, and really, he'd thank them for the free advertising.

But the real reason Ron nearly punched Fred in the mouth in the Quidditch locker room yesterday is that, protestations be damned, Hermione herself succumbed to a Charlie's advances.

Fred thinks it's the thrill that some of them get off on. The Russian roulette kick when a Charlie approaches you and you have no idea in the world who the person really is. Like the ultimate masked ball. And let's face it, Charlie's easy on the eyes.

So everyone has experimented with Charlie Weasley at least once. And Fred and George have almost enough for the lease on their new shop. Everybody wins.

~~o0o~~


End file.
